a prayer

i refuse to succumb to the feeling of emptiness... i don't want to be gnawed by hopelessness and hate... i simply refuse to.

this is reality, days when you just feel like everything is not going to go right. that there will be no way that God would smile on you and actually answer your prayers (for some people its called whinning!) -- this i refuse to succumb to.

right now. tonight. i feel rotten, empty and lazy. i don't feel good today. no feeling of excitement. nothing to look forward to. tomorrow is another day -- but its going to be same old same old. --> these thoughts im fighting --- im trying to reach for the light.

i cry out to God and ask Him to keep me sane, to actually spark my heart with excitement and energy. i refuse to be drabby at work tomorrow and i don't have anyone to run to. so tonight i cry out to God and ask Him to give me joy and happiness.

tonight this is my prayer.